Have A Nice Christmas: Holiday Hits Of The 70's

Musically, the 1970's was a decade of extremes. It was the golden age of classic rock, glam, heavy metal, funk, disco, and outlaw country. But, it was also the decade of soft rock, smooth jazz, "Billy Don't Be A Hero," "Seasons In The Sun," "Afternoon Delight," Debbie Boone, the Captain & Tennille, and the Bay City Rollers. And, that's the decade portrayed by Have A Nice Christmas: Holiday Hits Of The 70's (1994), one of numerous compact disc compilations by Rhino Records that documented the history of recorded Christmas music in the 20th century.

However, Have A Nice Christmas is a somewhat different animal than sterling Rhino collections like Hipsters' Holiday, Punk Rock Xmas, or Swingin' Christmas. Those CD's culled the very best holiday music of a particular genre. Have A Nice Christmas, on the other hand, celebrates the excesses of "The Me Decade," when taste went out the window in favor of wanton hedonism and eccentric exhibitionism. Predictably, much of Have A Nice Christmas is pretty wretched - though sometimes in very entertaining ways.

You see, there were plenty of wonderful Christmas records released during the 70's (more on that in a minute), but these aren't them. Rather, these are the songs that reflect the decade's kitschiest artifacts: smiley faces, lava lamps, mirror balls, polyester pants, platform shoes, and leisure suits. I mean, some of the highest-profile Christmas albums of the 70's were by the Osmonds, the Partridge Family, John Denver, and the Carpenters - hardly paragons of hip, even if some of those albums had fine moments. Even the Brady Bunch got in on the act, which Rhino inexplicably failed to exploit on Have A Nice Christmas.

Don't Crush That Elf, Hand Me The Pliers

On Have A Nice Christmas, we get two Christmas songs by the Osmonds, two by Bobby Sherman, and one by Ricky Segall, who portrayed Little Ricky on the Partridge Family TV show - though, weirdly, none by the Partridge Family themselves. Rhino was so desperate to make their case that they tossed in a Liberace medley recorded in 1954 - as if "Grandpa's Christmas Wish" from The Waltons wasn't bad enough! Now, I get a big kick out of this stuff, but I can see how most folks wouldn't. After all, who wants to do the "Jingle Bell Hustle" with Wayne Newton? If you do, danke schoen and meet me at the disco!

Really, Have A Nice Christmas errs most egregiously when it's not bad enough. Marilyn Monroe is often quoted as saying, "It's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring," and the tracks by Glen Campbell, Bobby Sherman, and the Osmonds are exactly that - simply boring, not the ridiculous transgressions of good taste we were led to expect. Even the Jimmy Castor Bunch, who perpetrated such ridiculousness as "The Bertha Butt Boogie," can't muster the balls to desecrate Nat King Cole's "The Christmas Song." Rather, they play it straight, turning in a burnished, instrumental ballad that borders on boring, even if it's too soulful to cross that line. Mostly, however, Have A Nice Christmas is just as bad as we feared - and just as bad as we hoped it would be.

The thing is, I came of age in the 70's, so I actually like most of Have A Nice Christmas. In fact, I recommend more than half of its tracks (see below). I even like Wayne Newton's smarmy "Jingle Bell Hustle," which shows you I have a high tolerance for pain - or a well-honed appreciation for camp. I should also point out that Have A Nice Christmas includes several rarely collected tracks, including Christmas ballads by Jim Croce - "It Doesn't Have To Be That Way" from his 1972 album Life & Times - and Melanie - "Merry Christmas" from her 1968 debut Born To Be, later used as the b-side of her 1970 single, "Ruby Tuesday." It also captures both sides of Martin Mull's hilarious 1973 holiday single, as well as Cheech & Chong's non-LP stoner comedy classic, "Santa Claus And His Old Lady."

All That Glitters Is Canceled

Have A Nice Christmas also marks one of the few appearances of Gary Glitter's "Another Rock And Roll Christmas" on an American collection. Turns out there are good reasons for that. In America, Gary Glitter was a one-hit wonder known mostly mostly for the weird, quasi-instrumental song "Rock And Roll, Part 2," which became a Top 10 hit in 1972 during the glam rock craze. It was actually a b-side of a more straight-ahead song called, predictably, "Rock And Roll, Part 1."

In Europe, however, Gary Glitter (an Englishman, real name Paul Gadd) was one of the biggest stars of the 1970's, with a long string of hits that spanned the decade including "I Didn't Know I Loved You (Till I Saw You Rock And Roll)," "I Am The Leader Of The Gang (I Am)," and "Do You Wanna Touch Me (Oh Yeah)," which Joan Jett later covered to great effect. It's worth noting, though, that "Another Rock And Roll Christmas" was actually released in 1984 - not during the 1970's, Taken from Glitter's album, Boys Will Be Boys, the single hit #7 on the UK charts. It his last big hit.

With his career already in decline, Gary Glitter was charged with possession of child pornography in 1997, then convicted and imprisoned in 1999. In the coming years, he would remain in trouble (or jail) in a variety of countries for a variety of child sex-related charges, including rape. Unsurprisingly, "Another Rock And Roll Christmas" rarely popped up on Christmas compilations thereafter, and Gary Glitter's music largely (though not completely) disappeared from the marketplace. Even "Rock And Roll, Part 2," which had become a ubiquitous chant at sporting events, evaporated from the culture.

(Not) Sucking In The 70's

Now, I said earlier that plenty of wonderful Christmas records were released during the 70's. That is both true and false. Christmas music had been on a steady decline since the early 60's, particularly after the British Invasion and the rise of the counterculture. Christmas music simply wasn't hip anymore. Less of it was made, and less of it was sold. By the 1970's, it was almost in hibernation - relatively speaking.

All the same, plenty of wonderful, often kooky Christmas records were released during the 1970's. But, they didn't tend to become hits, so you had to look harder to find them. To prove my point, I've compiled two ad hoc lists of the best and/or most notable singles and albums of "The Me Decade," pulled mostly from the realms of rock, rhythm 'n' blues, and country music. Sardonically, I call it Sucking In The 70's (with a tip of the hat to the Rolling Stones). Most, you will see, were recorded by established artists - who had less to risk - or by relative unknowns - who had nothing to lose. Most were released early in the decade before the epicurean, narcissistic zeitgeist of the 70's really kicked in, and a disproportionate number hail from England - where Christmas music never fell completely out of fashion. Certainly, there is enough to compile a really good collection, rather than the musical freak show that is Have A Nice Christmas.

(Reindeer) Gonna Fly Now

Not insignificantly, Rhino Records intended the holiday hilarity on Have A Nice Christmas as icing on the Christmas cake for their marathon series Have A Nice Day: Super Hits Of The 70's, a 25-volume survey of chart oddities from the 1970's. It mixes genuinely great one-hit wonders like Argent's "Hold Your Head Up" (1971), Billy Swan's "I Can Help" (1974), and Warren Zevon's "Werewolves Of London" (1978) with goofy curios like Shocking Blue's "Venus" (1970), Vicki Lawrence's "The Night The Lights Went Out In Georgia" (1973), and Rick Dees' "Disco Duck" (1976). Strongly recommended for people with strong stomachs.

Finally, Rhino collections like Have A Nice Christmas were very much a product of the CD era. Rhino usually licensed tracks from many disparate labels for use on specific compact discs - long before there was such a thing as iTunes or Spotify. So, sadly, Have A Nice Christmas and other Rhino Christmas collections did not make the leap to the world of downloads or streaming. That said, you can find most of the tracks on other sources. Good luck and, of course, have a nice day. [top of page]